


saturday, august 29th, 2020

by kiitemiru



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Married Life, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rottingly Sweet, Viktor has a nightmare, please send help immediately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 15:06:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiitemiru/pseuds/kiitemiru
Summary: "In my dream... you left me."Yuuri takes a breath and all the air leaves his lungs. Without waiting for a response, Viktor keeps talking, staring into the milky brown of his coffee instead of looking at his face."It's weird, because somehow I knew it was a dream, but i-it felt soreal, like I could wake up at any moment and... and you wouldn't be there in my arms."





	saturday, august 29th, 2020

At some unspeakable hour of the morning, Yuuri can feel himself being dragged to consciousness from the blissful clutches of sleep. He forces one eye open before almost immediately shutting it again at the sunlight streaming through the slightly parted curtains. Still refusing to open his eyes, he stretches his limbs, letting out a soft grunt.

 

Yuuri's suddenly aware that he feels cold and he automatically reaches out across the bed for Viktor. Frowning when his hands skim over nothing but the sheets, his eyes snap open. His frown deepens when he finds the other side of the bed devoid of his husband, his _warm_ husband who really likes to cuddle in the mornings. As soon as Yuuri caves and agrees to lie in bed for just five more minutes, Viktor will cling to him like an octopus and he knows that five minutes will turn into an hour.

 

Viktor must have left a short while ago, for his side of the bed still retains the tiniest bit of the body heat that Yuuri craves right now. He sits up and plucks his glasses off of the bedside table, sighing as he slips them onto his face. The world comes into clear focus around him, tiny details sharpening. He thinks he’ll have to book an eye test soon.

 

“Viktor?” Yuuri calls, his words slightly slurred with sleepiness. The apartment answers him with silence. Not even Makkachin reacts to the sound of his voice and- oh, Makkachin isn't there anymore. Perhaps Viktor had woken up earlier and took him out for a walk. That would explain their absences.

 

Yuuri gets out of bed and opens the curtains, instantly flooding the room with light and making him squint slightly. Feeling a little lonely waking up to an empty apartment, Yuuri starts his morning routine. He wonders how Viktor had been able to stand living alone, with only Makkachin to keep him company. The silence makes Yuuri feel so utterly alone that it makes his chest ache a little.

 

Now that he thinks about it, Yuuri realises that he's never lived by himself before. He'd roomed with Phichit in Detroit and before that, he has always lived with the rest of his family at Yu-Topia. Now he's with the love of his life, Yuuri thinks fondly.

 

As he brushes his teeth, he finds that he even misses Viktor brushing his teeth alongside him. Viktor is always far too chipper in the mornings, hip-checking Yuuri playfully as Yuuri laughs and tries not to spit toothpaste foam everywhere.

 

It's terribly domestic. Yuuri loves it.

 

Now pleasantly refreshed, he walks to the kitchen and starts brewing a pot of coffee, being sure to make extra for Viktor. Yuuri takes his coffee-filled mug, an adorable gift from Yuuko that's patterned with poodles, and blows on it gently. He starts to make his way to the balcony to see if the weather is nice enough to drink his coffee outside.

 

He stops in his tracks, however, when he sees Viktor standing outside, facing the city with Makkachin sitting at his feet, tail thumping on concrete every now and again.

 

Yuuri sets his coffee down on the nearest table and slides the balcony door open. He opens his mouth to greet him, but falters when Viktor doesn’t react at all. The cold air instantly attacks his skin violently and he shivers, goose bumps erupting along his exposed arms and neck. The wind picks up and Yuuri shivers harder, standing out there in a shirt and loose pants.

 

Viktor doesn't seem disturbed in the slightest. He's only wearing a thin T-shirt and his sleep shorts. The wind plays with his hair, whipping his bangs across his face. He brings a hand up as if brush them aside, but drops it halfway through the gesture. 

 

Yuuri can’t help but think that Viktor looks handsome, even in this situation. He’s so picture perfect with Saint Petersburg sprawled out below him and the sun slowly lighting up the sky. If he didn’t become a skater, he could easily have made it big as a model.

 

Makkachin whines quietly. Even he can tell that something is up. Perhaps it's the silence. Even Makkachin knows that there is very rarely any silence between Yuuri and Viktor that feels tense.

 

Viktor still hasn't acknowledged Yuuri's presence yet. He looks like he's waist deep in thought, eyebrows drawn together slightly as he stares out over the city sprawled beneath them. Yuuri wishes just this once that he could read minds.

 

A sharp bird’s cry cuts through the frigid morning air like a knife, startling him slightly but Viktor doesn’t move a single millimetre or even react at all. Makkachin whines again and neither of them notice as he walks back inside through the open door. A little part of Yuuri wonders if Viktor is ignoring him.

 

“Viktor, you should come back inside, it's too cold out here,” Yuuri says gently, breaking the icy silence. His husband finally shows a sign of life and lets out a tiny sigh. He says something, but it's too soft for Yuuri to hear and the wind picks up his words and whisks them away across the city.

 

He wants to ask him what he said, but Yuuri has the feeling that even if he does, he won't get an answer. He takes Viktor's hand and tugs lightly at his fingers. They're cold, very cold.

 

“Come on, Vitya, let's go back in… I made coffee.”

 

The slight inflection in Yuuri's voice at the end of his sentence makes it sound like a question. It's more like a soft plea than a question, however.

 

Viktor doesn't make a move to go back inside, only interlacing their fingers and holding Yuuri's hand in a tight grip. It's like he's afraid that Yuuri's going to let go. Yuuri squeezes back gently to show Viktor that he’s not going anywhere.

 

His husband finally turns to face him and Yuuri’s chest clenches at his expression. His face is completely neutral, except for his eyes.

 

Yuuri has never been more grateful that Viktor has such expressive eyes.

 

The blue has darkened to a deep shade that Yuuri doesn't often see. He'd likened them to Hasetsu’s ocean and the comparison is especially strong now. Viktor’s eyes are staring right into Yuuri’s with such an intensity that he gets shivers that have nothing to do with the cold weather.

 

Yes, Viktor’s eyes remind Yuuri of Hasetsu’s ocean, dark and churning with the promise of a storm.

 

He suddenly unlaces his fingers from where they're nestled between Yuuri’s and draws his hand back. A lump forms in Yuuri’s throat as Viktor brings his hand up to rest against his cheek. He isn't holding his face or caressing it like he usually would, instead just letting his hand brush Yuuri’s cheek with a ghosting touch that's barely there. The metal of Viktor's ring is cold against his skin.

 

 _How long have you been out here?_ Yuuri thinks dazedly.

 

He stands there, frozen, as Viktor leans down to kiss him. He goes for his lips first, Yuuri can tell, but he seems to change his mind halfway through the gesture. Instead, he presses his lips against Yuuri’s other cheek and lets them linger as his thumb swipes softly over his cheekbone.

 

All too quickly, Viktor draws back. The wind nips at Yuuri’s face again, now that he's moved away. His heart breaks the tiniest bit at the expression on his lover’s face.

 

Viktor takes his hand again and pulls him into a tight embrace. Without even having to think about it, Yuuri returns it, wrapping his arms firmly around him. Viktor murmurs into his hair softly, his voice barely above a whisper, “Will you stay with me?”

 

Yuuri reads between the lines and suddenly understands what he means. “Always.” he murmurs back, voice muffled from having his face buried in the thin material of Viktor's shirt.

 

The two of them are silent on the balcony, their body language providing more than enough communication between them.

 

Viktor's arms start trembling around Yuuri ever so slightly.

 

_(I need you.)_

 

Yuuri fists his hands in the back of Viktor's shirt.

 

_(I'm here.)_

 

He doesn't know how long they stand there for. Seconds, maybe minutes, maybe hours. All that matters to Yuuri is that something happened and Viktor needs him here, so he'll be here.

 

The wind picks up. Rain sprinkles down from the sky, from pale clouds almost the colour of Viktor's hair, but not quite. The wind blows the downpour of droplets around, peppering them with water and leaving tiny dark spots on their clothes. The air fills with the gentle whispering of raindrops.

 

Yuuri pulls away first, taking Viktor's hand as he gently leads him back inside. He scoops up his almost forgotten coffee, now cooled down a little, and sits his husband down at the kitchen table. Viktor only watches as Yuuri pours him a cup of coffee, stirring in milk and sugar just the way he likes it.

 

Yuuri places the cup in front of him. Viktor wraps his hands around it to warm his frigid fingers, uttering a soft 'thank you'. Makkachin trots up and stands on his hind legs, placing his paws in Viktor's lap. He chuckles quietly and squishes the poodle's cheeks together affectionately. Seemingly satisfied that he was able to cheer his owner up, Makkachin walks away and curls up on the couch to doze off.

 

Yuuri walks around the island counter and sits next to Viktor, taking his hand.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently, so as not to make it seem like he's pressuring Viktor to tell him. "You don't have to... I'll just stay here with you if that's what you want."

 

Viktor smiles at him, and it's a sad kind of smile. It's a little melancholy in the curve of his lips, it's a little sorrowful in the corners of his eyes. "No, don't worry about me, I'm just... it's stupid." he says with false reassurance, but Yuuri knows him too well. The way his smile trembles says something else.

 

"I'm sure it's not stupid," Yuuri replies, voice soft and steady. If Viktor is shaky, then Yuuri will help him balance. If Viktor is falling, then Yuuri will catch him. If Viktor needs him, then Yuuri will be there, because he knows that Viktor would do the same for him in a heartbeat.

 

"It is! It's really stupid, Yuuri," Viktor fires back and Yuuri is startled to see his eyes grow watery. "…I had a nightmare."

 

Viktor stops after that and fixes his gaze on Yuuri, as if he's looking for signs that he's going to start laughing at him for being so ridiculous. Yuuri keeps his expression utterly serious as he watches the tiny movement of Viktor's jaw when he clenches it briefly.

 

"Was it bad?" he asks quietly, making sure that he doesn’t sound like he’s being patronising. Viktor's hand tightens a little around his.

 

"Really bad. My worst fear."

 

"Was it you losing all of your hair and going bald then?” Yuuri blurts out before he can stop himself. He's immediately worried that he's said the wrong thing, worried that it made him seem insensitive, worried that Viktor thinks he's not taking him seriously-

 

Viktor chuckles and Yuuri's worries vanish. A small smile of his own tugs at the corners of his mouth.

 

"Well, no, worse than that, actually-" Viktor stops, and just like that, the faint traces of humour on his face are gone. It's as if someone has flipped a switch, turning off the lights in his eyes that brighten up Yuuri's world so much. Viktor's thumb starts brushing against Yuuri’s knuckles absentmindedly, swiping across his ring lightly.

 

"In my dream... you left me."

 

Yuuri takes a breath and all the air leaves his lungs. Without waiting for a response, Viktor keeps talking, staring into the milky brown of his coffee instead of looking at his face.

 

"It's weird, because somehow I knew it was a dream, but i-it felt so _real_ , like I could wake up at any moment and... and you wouldn't be there in my arms."

 

His voice grows fainter and fainter with each word until it’s reduced to nearly a whisper. His shoulders drop and he curls in on himself, making his usually large frame look so much smaller. Very rarely does Viktor seem so vulnerable, putting his emotions on display without the careful façade that he’s spent years perfecting during his career.

 

“Your worst fear is that I’ll leave you?” Yuuri asks quietly, his tone inquisitive, not mocking. Viktor nods a little sadly and Yuuri slides off his seat to wrap him up in a tight embrace, his coffee long forgotten.

 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Viktor mumbles, burying his face in Yuuri’s hair. “I don’t- I don’t ever want you to leave and… I’m sorry, it’s silly.”

 

“You’re right,” Yuuri says simply. “It is silly,”

 

Viktor makes a little noise in his throat.

 

Yuuri presses his forehead to his shoulder, uncaring of the way it makes his glasses cut into the bridge of his nose a little. “I’d never leave you. You know that.”

 

“I do,” Viktor says, his voice cracking a little. “I do know that, but I-I can’t help but think, what’s going to happen when you… when you get bored of me?”

 

“Viktor-”

 

“I can’t keep being exciting forever and eventually one day, you’ll get tired of me and-”

 

Yuuri doesn’t have to yell or raise his voice or even speak at all to cut off the flow of his words. He takes Viktor by the shoulders and looks him straight in the eyes. Viktor stops immediately, mouth still halfway to forming a word before he shuts it and swallows nervously.

 

Yuuri has no idea what to say, but a thought occurs to him and he gives a single light chuckle at the irony. Viktor visibly deflates, shoulders dropping again as Yuuri belatedly realises that it probably gave him the wrong idea.

 

“Oh, Vitya, I wasn’t laughing at _you_ , I…” he pauses, scrabbling around in his mind to find the right words to say. “It’s just kind of ironic, I think, that I wonder if you’ll leave me too sometimes.”

 

Yuuri watches as Viktor’s eyebrows furrow and he can tell that he wants to say something, but again, Yuuri silences him with a single look.

 

“Not so much these days. Actually, very rarely since we got married,” he continues, a small smile gracing his soft features. Viktor smiles too, like he always does whenever the topic of their marriage comes up. “I thought about it a lot though, back when we started dating… I could hardly believe it, you know?”

 

Yuuri sighs wistfully, reminiscing about the early days of their relationship. “It’s just that, well, there’s no other way to put it, really. You’re _Viktor Nikiforov_. Winner of five consecutive Grand Prixes and World Championships, figure skating’s living legend with more medals than anyone can count. And then there was me, a dime-a-dozen skater from Japan. How could I ever hope to keep you all to myself?”

 

“Yuuri-” Viktor begins, no doubt to reprimand Yuuri on undermining his skills again. He’s heard the ‘you’re not just a dime-a-dozen figure skater’ talk a thousand times already.

 

“Wait, let me finish,” Yuuri says, more like a request. Viktor swallows his words yet again and Yuuri can tell that he’s brimming with the need to say something.

 

“I’d put you on such a high pedestal all my life that you were some kind of untouchable god to me. Combined with my anxiety, I couldn’t believe you’d be interested in me at all. I was always asking myself if I was good enough for you.”

 

Viktor whispers his name again, eyes filling with sadness upon hearing that last sentence. Yuuri pats his cheek gently, a reassuring gesture.

 

“That was years ago, Vitya. I know better than that now. Maybe you _are_ figure skating’s living legend, but you’re also my Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov. And I’m the only in the world who knows your love.”

 

“Oh?” Viktor chuckles. “Such a bold statement, _dorogoy_.”

 

Yuuri’s smile turns into somewhat of a teasing one. “You’re my Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov, and you never do the dishes when it’s your turn, you always stick your freezing hands up my shirt when we sleep, you refuse to buy apricot jam for some reason… and you love me. I wasn’t able to truly understand that until I started seeing you as just _Viktor_ , instead of some god on a pedestal far, far away from me.

 

“I’m sorry for making this all about me and talking so much, but I’m getting to the point soon! Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that… I used to have my doubts too, and I still do sometimes, but I realised one day how much you really love me. Now, I need you to realise how much I love you.”

 

Viktor’s eyes are shining with unshed tears again, gathering at the corners of his eyes like crystals. How he manages to look so pretty while crying, Yuuri will never know. He just hopes that they’re happy tears. He places his hand against Viktor’s face and swipes away a stray tear with his thumb.

 

“You don’t need to keep being exciting for me. I could never get tired of you, ever. I want to stay with you, for as long as you’ll have me-”

 

“Forever.” Viktor interjects immediately. Yuuri doesn’t miss the way his voice wavers.

 

“Forever.” he agrees softly. His husband hugs him so hard that they sway a little on the spot and Yuuri has to grab onto him to keep balance. He’s reminded of that time at Fukuoka Airport, when he came back from the Rostelecom Cup after Makkachin’s mishap with the steamed buns. He remembers how they’d run alongside each other, separated by a wall of glass.

 

Viktor had looked at him with such a soft longing in his eyes as held his arms out, and Yuuri knew at that moment that he never wanted to leave his side ever again for as long as he lived. Viktor had told him that he wished he would never retire, and Yuuri cried because he knew at that moment that he would never love anyone else more than Viktor for as long as he lived.

 

Back in the present, Viktor holds Yuuri’s face tenderly, as if he’s got the most precious thing in the world in his hands. His smile is soft and so full of love that Yuuri’s heart melts under his gaze. He will never grow tired of this feeling.

 

“Your eyes are so pretty, my love,” Viktor murmurs, sighing gently. Yuuri laughs quietly as he shakes his head.

 

“Brown eyes are boring,” he replies, looping his arms around Viktor’s neck. “Yours are much more beautiful.”

 

Viktor leans down until their foreheads are touching. “No, darling, your eyes are lovely. So, so gorgeous.”

 

His words make Yuuri giggle softly and blush like a schoolgirl, as if he’s not a grown man of 27. He tilts his head up and presses a sweet kiss to Viktor’s lips. Their coffee goes cold as they stand in the kitchen wrapped up in each other’s arms and kissing softly.

 

Viktor sighs as they break apart and whispers a breathless ‘I love you’. Yuuri can feel tears welling up in his eyes because he loves this man so, so much. Words will never be enough to explain the way that Viktor makes him feel, so he settles for hugging him tightly and whispering an ‘I love you’ back.

 

 “What did I do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?” Viktor murmurs into his hair reverently. The tone of his voice makes Yuuri’s heart ache under the weight of the love he holds for Viktor. This is home, this is where he belongs.

 

Yuuri closes his eyes against his shoulder and lets Viktor hold him for as long as he needs. “I could say the same thing about you, Vitya.”

 

Woken from his nap by the sound of gentle laughter, Makkachin pops his head up to peer over the back of the couch. He watches Viktor and Yuuri standing in the kitchen and holding each other for a moment before lowering his head again. As he settles back into sleep, he thinks about how much happier Viktor has been these past few years.

 

Makkachin hopes that Yuuri stays around for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been 6 months since I last posted something ayy  
> This can be read as a sequel of some sort to 'to me, only you', if you'd like to think of it that way  
> If you wouldn't mind, feel free to comment your favourite part or a particular line that stood out to you. I think it'll help me improve my writing skills.  
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!


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